Saturday, November 26, 2011

"I'm impossible to forget, but I'm hard to remember." -Claire (Elizabethtown)

You might know a girl like her. Maybe you don’t, though. Because girls like her come walking through your life about as often as a white Christmas down here.

You say she drinks a little too heavy.

Talks a little too rough.

Laughs a little too loud.

Flirts a little too much.

Dances a little too offbeat.

She is not the prettiest one. She is not the funniest one. She is not the smartest one. She is not the richest one. Yet, you can’t help but stare. Something about her makes you feel uneasy, and you can’t put your finger on it. But it’s something to do with the fact that you thought of her last night, and even though she can make your face burn with embarrassment just watching her antics, the thought of her stirred something inside of you. You pictured her and smiled.

Sometimes, she slips right out of your mind when she’s not around. You might forget to call her to come out with the group. You might not remember to remind her about that big party next weekend. You might promise to call and talk awhile, but something else will come up and she will fade from mind like a distant memory.

She will notice. She won’t say anything, but she will notice. It’s not that she doesn’t care. She does. She wants to be remembered just as much as the next person. She just knows better. She knows she isn’t the kind of girl that stays on your mind and consumes you. She’s different.

When she is around, you feel a bit caught off guard but also, you feel special. She looks you straight in the eye. And it’s a little uncomfortable, but only because no one else has ever seen inside of you before. Not like she does. The worst of you and the best of you. She really sees you and either loves you because of it or in spite of it.

In a glance, she can look and see that the insult you just threw out at an old friend is really just a cover up, your defense against getting hurt again.

In a moment, she can look and see that the all the bragging you’re doing is only to hide the insecurity you feel at being surrounded by all these people looking up to you.

In a second, she can look and see that, even though those arms are crossed and you’re staring off into space, you’re hearing every word they’re all saying around you. And she knows you’re building up a wall to protect yourself.

She can look and see. All of it. Straight through. And she knows because she is wise. She’s been you. And you. And you. Her sixth sense is understanding. She’s been through the ringer and lived to understand why people are the ways they are.

So she sees you. And loves you anyway.

And she might slip your mind for awhile. But she’s okay with that because she knows it’s not forever.

A moment will come. When the return insult hits too hard or the bragging fails or the wall falls down and you’re standing alone and vulnerable, you will remember her. And you will wish she was there.

You won’t know why because you really don’t know her at all. You will think about her and realize that she is a perfect stranger, even if you’ve spent all the time in the world together. She knows so much about you. You probably told her your childhood stories and your biggest fears and your dreams for the future at some point, and you have no idea why you did that because you don’t know anything about her, really.

That’s how she prefers it. She already knows why she is here. Her purpose. To make you feel special. To make you feel important. She wants you to know that you do matter. And it’s hard to make someone feel that way about themselves if they know too much. So she sees you and knows you and puts you on top of the world for a moment with a single glance, and you don’t even know she does it, until you need it again and she isn’t there.

She drinks a little too heavy.

Talks a little too rough.

Laughs a little too loud.

Flirts a little too much.

Dances a little too offbeat.

She does it all so that you will look at her instead of looking inside of her. So that she can see you. So that you will remember her later, when it really matters.

She isn’t the kind of girl to disrupt your life for awhile and leave. The kind you think you love but forget about down the line.

She is a shooting star, flying through your life and making you feel significant in this big world.

She is a life force, a breath of fresh air when your lungs want to give out.

At your worst, you will need uplifting. You will need to smile.

And then, you will see her.

You will remember how she made you feel.

And you will know you matter.

She sees souls. She knows people. She will touch you. In this way, she is making herself immortal. She will live on as long as you do because she may be hard to remember but she is impossible to forget.

No comments:

Post a Comment