Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Nothing to do but cry ourselves numb.

I have a friend in Joplin. She is alive, but devastated by the way nature ripped her town to shreds and ruined the lives of so many around her.

I also have friends in Tuscaloosa, where the same thing happened just weeks ago. And in my own state, a few weeks before that, we experienced a similar disaster.

I am alive and perfectly well. My friends survived their storms, too. The people I love, they are living, and I am thankful for this. I am.

But tonight, my heart is broken because life can be so ugly. This world can be unfair and cruel. And sometimes, there is no explanation at all for why awful things happen, and that means there is nowhere to put the pain we feel. It burns into our hearts these holes that cannot be patched. And then it becomes too much and there is nothing to do but cry ourselves numb.

Tomorrow, life will resume. I am alive and I will laugh because there are wonderful and happy things all around. I can see those things if I look at life from just the right angle. Step back, tilt head, squint. The good is there, somewhere. Despite all the bad, life will be beautiful again, maybe. Tomorrow, I will find the blessings in the midst of the tragedies.

But tonight, I don’t want to try. Tonight, there is just heartbreak.

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